To all the single ladies… *ahem*
I never liked being single. All through out high school — and the beginning of my Freshman year of college — I hated that I was never asked out on dates. That guys never talked to me. I felt like perhaps I wasn’t attractive. Or that maybe my personality needed some tweaking. Whatever the thought, it always ended with the same conclusion: I just wasn’t good enough. And what a scary conclusion that was to make.
I was depressed. Not in the clinical terms, but in the fact that I just wasn’t honestly satisfied with who I was. So much so, that in my Freshman year of college, I ended up in a relationship that was very detrimental to my self confidence and to my self image. I was so unwilling to let go of my immediate need to be ‘loved,’ that I completely ignored all red flags and continued on with my hopeful fantitises and dreams. The end result? A lot of pain for my ex and I. Luckily, though, I can happily say that my ex is now engaged and preparing to marry a wonderful girl, with whom I hope he will have a wonderful life.
However, I must admit that the happiness for my ex didn’t come instantly. Nor did the okay-ness with me being single. In fact, me being okay with being single actually occured just recently on one of my daily walks to campus. (For those of you who may be holding your breath, you can now let it go.) I can safely say that, no, I was not visited by an angel, nor did I recieve any revelation on whom and when I was going to marry. Rather, I had an “ah-ha!” moment. And the ah-ha moment was this: I realized that being single was wondeful.
Why is it wonderful, you may ask? Well, for starters, I realized that I don’t have much longer of enjoying the single, care-free lifestyle. Yes, I don’t have any of the advantages and gains of a married person, but I am having a phenomenal period of growth. A growth that everyone will — and should — go through before marriage. What that growth entails and how long it lasts is not my business – it’s God’s. But I can tell you one thing – you are at this stage in your life for a reason.
It gets irritating, though, doesn’t it? Going day in and day out wondering if you are ever going to marry. (Wondering if and when the person you have a crush on will realize that you’re the one for him). And that is hard. It gets wearing, lonely, and painful. And, sometimes, you wonder when it is going to end.
Well, I can safely say one thing that’s comforting. And that is this: It is going to end. Now trials, occasionally feeling alone, difficult people, and difficult situations? Those, those are not going to end. Not even in marriage. But you know what will end? The waiting period. It will end. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe in a year. That’s all up to God and to you. But it will end. I promise that it will.
You’re probably wondering how I can say that with such vigor. Well, even if you’re not, I’ll tell you. It’s because of a profound statement my professor made a couple of weeks ago. A statement in which he pointed out that my future husband and my future kids were REAL people. The only thing is, I have yet to meet them. At first, that was a little trippy to think about, but it’s SO true! And isn’t that such a fun thing to think about? We – the single people – still have the happiest, most exciting moment in our lives to wait for.
And guess what? That future man of yours? He is going to love you just as you are. That’s the best part. If you’re doing all that you can to prepare for this dream man, there is no possible way that you are not going to run into him. In fact, I might say it’s nigh impossible. So chill. Relax. Enjoy the ride. Each moment in your life only happens once. Might as well enjoy them for what they are while they are there.
I know this isn’t easy. Even now I still battle with those little self-doubts and hopeless thoughts. But there’s a remedy for that. And that is prayer. Pray for your future spouse. Just like you, he is waiting to meet you. And just like you, he is wondering if there really is someone out there that is right for him. But just like you, he is growing, learning, and preparing to meet you.
Don’t give up hope. Your future man is out there. Please don’t settle. Don’t sell yourself short. You are worth more than the scumbags that are out there (same goes for you gents!)
Follow your dream.
And trust in God and His timing for you.
Because in the end, everything – and I do mean everything – will work out for you good.
‘Till next time —
R. J. Carr
P.S. There are 5 Easter Eggs in this post. Did you find them all? Hint: Check the underlined words. And, no, they are not all the same type of thing. Enjoy!